Remembering Diane

Thanks to twowritingteachers for creating the space to write, share, and grow. #SOL22 Day 8

Today is International Women’s Day, a day to celebrate women’s achievements. It seemed most fitting to write about my dear friend. She was brave, outspoken, a champion for democratic values, an avid reader, a fine writer, and an activist. She joined her daughter to participate in marches in Washington. She supported all her students throughout her career, often their biggest cheerleader.

It isn’t every day that you come across a friend like Diane Dougherty. It’s probably a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. I got lucky in the summer of 1989 when I participated in the Pennsylvania Writing & Literature Project, five intensive weeks at an office complex off Rte. 30 and about a 35-minute drive for me. My writing institute was a K-12 teacher experience, and I was lucky enough to begin a special friendship that would last thirty-two years.

Diane and I were soon enlisted into the small army of volunteers and presenters commanded by Dr. Robert Weiss. We often shared ideas and resources but presented separately, since I usually went into elementary schools and Diane tackled the middle and high school levels. Soon, it became apparent to Bob and everyone else that Diane could talk with teachers from K-12, work with K-12 students, do just about anything. We had some great experiences where we conducted workshops together at Bristol School District and presented at national conferences such as NCTE and Reading Recovery Conference of North America. Due to a fairly bad snowstorm event, we could not take a plane home from the RRCNA, and we hitched a ride home with Patti & Phil Sollenberger in the back of their van stuffed with books, displays, suitcases, and boxes of little trinkets and such. More on that later.

 Diane and I had some pretty harrowing experiences – the time we had to navigate the mountains at night – just outside of Johnstown – on twisty, turny roads to find our hotel and the ride to Pittsburgh to present at the PCTELA Conference. Most of the time Joe would track us on his phone. I always found that to be comforting.

The wildest event was when we hitched a ride in the back of Reading Matters, Inc. van from the Reading Recovery Conference in Columbus, Ohio. We couldn’t get a flight home due to a sudden snowstorm. Our presentation was one of the last ones on the schedule.. We had about 75 participants, and Diane and I went back and forth seamlessly. Diane always knew how to make people laugh and relax. They connected to her immediately – I think it was her great smile. When we got back to the exhibit hall, everyone was gone. The snow was steadily falling Patti, covering streets and sidewalks. Then Diane got a text saying our flight was canceled. Patti and Phil Sollenberger very generously made room to fit us, our suitcases, laptops, and projector in the van with all the books and products from their display. We did not want to spend another day or two in Columbus! Diane’s husband Joe picked us up at the Downingtown exchange on the turnpike. It was still snowing! Thank goodness for Phil and his expert driving from Columbus, Ohio to Downingtown, Pennsylvania!

Diane and I wrote two great books together for Stenhouse. Diane’s expertise helped us to write a great book about grammar for grades K -6, and we had some wonderful trips to places in Florida, western Pennsylvania, and somewhere outside of St. Louis. We even went to Orange County, California on two different occasions to present for the university in Irvine for Carol Booth Olson and their Writing Project Conference held in early December.

Beyond writing and the Project, there were wonderful dinners at Diane and Joe’s home, especially in December when Diane felt I needed a holiday dinner. Diane was my champion as my family was small and did not get along. Diane was family, and I loved her for making a special place in her life for Ralph and for me.  She introduced me to the opera, and we spent many birthdays celebrating at the Lincoln Center and having brunch or dinner on Broadway – especially at Shun Lee. Eloquently sauced scallop appetizer, orange beef, and a martini with olives in a dining room filled with red-eyed dragons – oh, I loved every minute of our trip!  Diane always drove and believe me when I say that she navigated the tunnel and the streets of New York City better than any taxicab driver!  I loved her for taking on the driving to and from the opera. We even returned with our husbands for a performance of My Fair Lady. Diane and I enthusiastically bought very expensive tickets to see the show without asking our husbands. It all worked out, and we were able to have yet another wonderful dinner at Shun Lee.

I received several cooking lessons, too, and my best Christmas present were her recipes – she hand-copied them for me. We practiced how to make homemade meatballs, chicken parm, pot roast, and deviled eggs. Even poached salmon with carrots, celery, onion, lemon, salt, and about six cups of water. Simply delicious! I am forever grateful. So is Ralph, and slowly but surely, I am trying them out for the second and third time. Easter dinner for the past two years came from a lesson from Diane – right here in my kitchen. This year, oven-roasted flank steak. When I use her recipes and cook, I feel like she is standing in my kitchen with me. It is so comforting!

I will miss the book shares, the shopping for shoes, the homemade Christmas cookies, the trips to NYC, the emptying of my heart about family and other things, the dinners for our May birthdays, heated political discussions, the wonderful stories she shared about growing up. Her warm smiles, her courage, her love, her friendship. I say her name out loud every day – a promise to remember her. An easy promise to keep. She is always with me. I miss her every day. She was something else – Diane Esolen Dougherty. She was a straight shooter – honest, filled with compassion and love, a talented writer, and the smartest person I know.  This is my tribute to you, dear friend. Thinking of you, Diane, with love.